Last week I ran a Stress Management workshop and I introduced the group to the concept of contracting as it relates to stress.

So many people overload themselves with tasks for other people because they don’t like to say no (Please People?), or because they do not know how to delegate, or more often do not want to lose control (Be Perfects?).  And then there are those who don’t have time to find the person who should be doing the task, so do it themselves (Hurry Ups?) and those who exhaust themselves volunteering so much (Try Hards?) …….and Be Strongs feel they should do everything themselves anyway …….!

We can get ourselves overloaded, stressed-out, irritable and down-right depressed and often, we only have ourselves to blame!  How daft is that?

Actually, the good thing is, once realised that it is down to us, we also have the ability to put it right, and the TA tool to help us with that is contracting.

This is a handout I gave out at the workshop – I hope you find it useful:

Contracting for Control
How often have you felt overwhelmed by your workload?  How often have you felt – I can’t cope with this lot, its not fair!?

We often feel out of control, drowning in a sea of paper-work and disappearing under the weight of responsibility and yet more tasks.  The sad thing is, we often only have ourselves to blame!  Not a very palatable truth – it is much easier to blame somebody else, but the truth is, maybe we were not very assertive when asked to take on yet another job, or maybe we didn’t say no when we should have done, maybe our need to be liked and considered  a good team player got in the way of our reality.  The reality of an already full diary, a “to do list” of gigantic proportions and many people justifiably wanting a piece of your time and attention!

Contracting is:

“An explicit bilateral commitment to a well-defined course of action”
Eric Berne (1966)

Contracting is about transparency.  Being really clear about what you want, what your expectations are, what your concerns are about the matter at hand, what help you feel you might need etc.  Contracting is also about accounting for others – who else is involved?  Who do I need to talk to about this issue?

Contracting can have its uncomfortable side – because it is also about surfacing things that much of the time get left unsaid.  These things usually  get in the way and sabotage our success.  Getting it out in the open means that the difficulties can be planned for, the “sticky” areas discussed and acknowledged.  If we lead them unsaid – they can nag away at us internally, bring us down, send our stress levels soaring as we worry about the issue.
Contracting and your workload
Contracting is appropriate at every event where people meet or work together  and especially when people may have different views or understanding.

• Meetings
• Team meetings
• Coaching sessions
• Training sessions
• Discipline sessions
• Planning sessions
• Giving feedback
• Receiving feedback
• Managing performance sessions
• Review meetings
• Customer or supplier meetings
 In fact any interaction between two or more people needs a contracting process. 

Contracting – the benefits
Contracting in a clear and transparent way offers protection against setting yourself up to fail.  If you contract clearly, you are asking the other parties for what you want, you are agreeing to what needs to be done and what your part in the project is, you are agreeing to objectives, timescales, methods of work etc.

Having the confidence to state, right at the beginning what you are prepared to do and how you are prepared to do it safeguards against taking on too much, promising more than you can achieve without working around the clock.

How to carry out a Contracting Process
Contracting is often a continual refining process.  There is a clear starting point, as stated below - although not always in this order:

Practical issues
• Discuss then agree the practical issues, who, when, where, by when, using what resources
• Discuss then agree the tasks involved and develop joint objectives that all buy into and believe are achievable
• Discuss and agree how you will work together.  What is useful, and sometimes what is not useful too

Professional issues

• Have we the skills and knowledge to undertake this agreement?
• Is it a measured risk? 
• Are we putting ourselves or others at risk? 
• Would it be appropriate to ask for more technical support?

Psychological issues
• Have we worked together before and to what degree of success? 
• Who is attending and for what reason? 
• What are the motives of the people in this team?
• How might I or others sabotage this process and why?
• Do we trust each other?